Music to My Ears

Getting back to work

Well I got back to writing my book yesterday and I noticed something.
I write whatever the music I'm listening to makes me feel. My story has so many emotions and the last thing I want is to feel them all again at the same time.

So I have to make play lists for each chapter. This way I can write some of the hard stuff and then relax and breathe. And when it hurts too much I can listen to something that will ease the pain and change my mood.

I've always used music to inspire me but not to this extent. I also like to read to music, specific music, for the type of book I'm reading. So this is in a way a new thing for me.

I'm almost done Chapter 2 and luckily it's happy memories. Remembering the beginning actually brings me joy. It's what happens later that changes everything. Up down round and round goes the emotion wheel.

I'm hoping I can get Jane Velez-Mitchell or Nancy Grace to write my forward. That would be amazing. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well enough yapping time to get back to work.

Stay safe and love your children.

Robin

As Promised

As Promised I am posting the opening of my book.

Please keep in mind these are the pages of a book before the chapters begin. Feel free to comment or make suggestions.

If I could turn back time

 

So many nights I would lay there and wonder what I could have done differently. Was this my fault? What could I have done to make him do this, to our own daughter? Was I loving enough, he said I was. Was I a good wife, he always said I was the best. Then how? How could this happen. Why did it happen?

 

These questions I will never get an honest answer from him. I know this now and have resigned myself to accept it. He has changed his answers to suit whomever he was talking to. So many different reasons, none true.

 

This isn’t your usual Pedophile/ Sex Offender story. This is a new animal you haven’t heard of before. This one fooled everyone at the exact same time. Friends, family, coworkers, his own children and yes me. His wife of 20 years.

 

When I told friends and family I was going to write this book there wasn’t a single disparaging word. Everyone including the children are supporting me.

 

So why am I writing this and putting my life and curse out for all to see? For you, the person reading this. To help you do what I couldn’t and save children from this abuse. It isn’t just sexual, don’t be fooled. It is more and deeper than you can imagine. It is emotional, physical and never ending. Until you stop it, you take the reins of your life and say STOP.

 

This is our STOP, This is my STOP.

 

I’m hoping to open your eyes and educate you on this new Sex Offender. The loving and honest father, husband, Daddy. What makes him so new and different than the usual Pedophile? That is easy, it was me. We weren’t your typical American family. I was a diehard children’s advocate. My life was protecting all children especially my own. I worked daily, sometimes into the early morning hours doing everything I could to bring my dream to life. Stopping Sex Offenders and finding the missing.

 

 I would post on my forum and write long blog posts to do all I could to bring the missing home or stop a sex offender from getting any more victims. And he supported me 100%. He would read my posts and tell me how proud of me he was. Proud. The truth was not proud but dark and ugly.

 

 

With writing this book I want you to see the truth through my eyes and those of my children. To look at your own life and ask the right questions and maybe save your children like I couldn’t till it was too late.

 

We are no longer the typical American family. We have changed even evolved because of this. It has taken me years to get to this point in my life. To share what happened without crying, to tell you about our life and how perfect can be a bad thing. And hope you learn from it. From this true story. And save a child from the pain my children have had to deal with. The looks of contempt from people who didn’t know the truth, family who were lied to and didn’t know this happened.

 

I wasn’t sure where to start and then realized it has to be from the very beginning. It will make sense later I promise. See what I didn’t see and had no idea was even happening. No not the abuse but the grooming to help conceal it.

Thursday, April 4, 2013 at 5:38am
Copyright © 2013 Robin Clark. All Rights Reserved.

Harder than I thought

Morning Everyone,

As promised I'm here to up date you on my progress on the book. I have an outline all written up and the first 5 pages.

Yep you saw that correctly I have started lol. And to be honest this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Not the writing part but the emotions it brings up.

 I began to get emotional when I started talking about what I wanted people to get from the book and our life way back in the beginning. I caught myself thinking about the way we used to be. But not just memories but the way it actually felt. The butterflies at the thought of holding his hand or our faces going flush when we kissed and so on. And immediately getting angry at myself for letting those feelings to come back into my life. Especially since they were the ones about him.

Those feelings are always followed by nausea and contempt for him. Knowing that he experienced those same feelings when he was abusing our daughter. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

OK back to the present, here and now. I promised my Facebook friends and family I would post my opening page for them to critique and make suggestions about on my personal FB page. And I'm now promising you the same thing.

Later today I will post my opening page here on the blog IF I get 10 comments to this post. I know you think that's silly but oh contra ire it makes perfect sense. If there are 10 comments then I know people are actually interested in seeing the beginning of my book here on the blog. And if there aren't 10 comments then I know the public would rather see other posts on AMBER Alerts or the missing or Sex Offender info and not the book.

The last thing I want to do is run people off by posting things they aren't interested in. So that's why I'm asking for the comments.

It is now 5:45am. I will check back all day and if I get 10 comments by 6:00pm I will post it by 6:30pm.

And I'm not so shallow that I'll be upset or angry if the comments aren't there. It's just an offer to see into what I'm doing :-)

See you all later.

Themis aka Robin

Big News

Greetings Everyone.

I have BIG news. I've decided that I'm going to write a book. It's going to be personal account of what happened to my family over the last few years.

It will explain why I went silent here on the blog and on our site From Whispers to Roars.

It will be a more detailed description of Pedophiles, one we never hear about. And how it changed our lives.

As a children's advocate I told you how to protect your family and children from Sex Offenders. Little did I know that one in particular was paying very close attention and used everything I said to hide his crime.

I will be setting up a FB Fan page chronicling the writing process and also be posting on here. When I'm finished I'll post directions on how to order the book.

This is very scary and personal but having all of you and your support will help me greatly.