An Open Letter to Steven and Samantha Alexander

I don't normally use the blog to post about murders not affiliated with missing persons. But after watching HLN and the coverage of Travis Alexander's death I felt compelled to do so.  This is for the Alexander family, especially Steven and Samantha.

First I think I should give you a small glimpse into my life. I'm the youngest girl in a family of 6 siblings. Just like your brother Travis I'm the " go to" person when anyone needs a shoulder or an ear to listen and advise. I'm also the one to handle the bad news and to tell the rest of the family. As many of my regular readers and friends know I have a background in the Medical field and Law Enforcement. I've had to testify in each venue of court from civil to criminal.

It was a little scary at first but it was never about any of my loved ones so it was easy. But that changed quickly when my oldest daughter and I both had to read our victim impact statements against my husband, her father, her molester.

Because of my background, the support of my family and my religious beliefs I knew I could do this. I was however worried about my daughter. She had been through so much and now she had to tell the judge, the public and friends/family who were present what he did to her and how she has grown and changed because of it.

She was amazing. So strong and clear. She even looked right at him so he would know her words, no expression from him. Now my turn......

I stood up at the podium with my papers and immediately began to ball like a baby. I totally froze.

WTHeck?? Why in the world am I carrying on this way. I don't cry, I never cry. It's against my beliefs! All I knew was I couldn't stop. His lawyer began to object to how long I was taking and the judge told him to sit down and shut up! She said  "She can take as long as she wants and needs. Take your time and ignore him." Yes I loved our Judge.

About 5 minutes went by and I finally said "Your Honor, how can I follow that." and I gestured towards Meg and I smiled. So did the Judge, the clerk and an Officer. Feeling stronger while looking at my first born baby I began to speak. I couldn't look at him even though he was sitting to my right. So close I could have reached out...no...spit on him.

I only cry if I see him because of what he did and what he lost forever. I was told it is the same as him dying. Ripped out of your life never to see or hear again. And despite what he did it did hurt and I was mourning our 20 year marriage, my children losing their Dad and at my one time soul mate. Gone.

The words flowed easier and every now and then I had to stop to compose myself. But it was quicker than when I started. I was able to finally look at him so he could hear me loud and clear. It felt great.

After I finished he stood up to all acute his crime. He called us "Those Individuals" Not his wife or children, just Those Individuals . Yeah that impressed the Judge, NOT.

Then the Judge spoke. She looked at Meg and I and said we were very brave to do what we did. Many can't and regret not doing it. She could tell we both wrote are own statements. She told Meg she was mature and very intelligent just by what she wrote. And she looked at me and said I can see how much pain this had caused you and your children but I am a very strong woman who will not only get passed this but be better for it.

The reason I told you this story , Steven and Samantha Alexander,  is to express my  awe in you both. You spoke so clear and honestly it impressed me. You two did something I couldn't and that was tell how your brothers death effected you and your whole family without losing it like I did..

I just wanted to tell you how proud I was and I am positive Travis was impressed and felt a lot of love for you both. Your strong, caring, loving and devoted to your family as I am. I pray for your whole family. And not only will Travis's killer have to pay here on Earth just remember it's not the only place she will be punished for murder.

God bless and keep you all.

Originally written May 16, 2013 but not published til now.